The backpack is ready by the door. The new pencil case has been tested. And yet, your child is standing on the school playground in tears, while the bicycles ride off around you and you are actually already late for work.
Recognizable? You are not the only one. The first few weeks after the summer holidays are tougher than expected for many families. Not because there is something wrong with your child, and not because you are doing something wrong as a parent. There is simply a lot happening at once in a small body and a small head.
Why returning to school has such an impact
Six to nine weeks of summer vacation is a long period for children without a fixed structure. Late bedtimes, fewer fixed mealtimes, more free play. That is exactly what the holidays are meant for, but it also means that your child’s body and daily schedule have become quite detached from the school rhythm.
Added to this, school is not just a place to learn. It is also a social environment full of stimuli: a new teacher, perhaps a different classroom, the busyness of the playground, and the expectation to sit still and listen again. For young children (ages 5-9), this is a significant transition, even if they secretly quite like school.
Therefore, tears on the school playground usually do not mean that something serious is going on. More often, it is a sign that your child needs to get used to change, and that is a normal, healthy reaction.
What helps: bringing back structure before the first day of school
Many parents only try to restore the rhythm on the Sunday evening before the first day of school. That is often too late. Sleep experts and pediatricians advise gradually moving back toward the school rhythm about a week in advance.
- Shift bedtime and wake-up time by 10 to 15 minutes each day instead of an hour all at once.
- Re-establish fixed mealtimes, even during the last weekend of the holidays.
- Practice the morning routine once or twice as a "dry run," without rushing, so your child knows what is coming.
Predictability gives children a sense of stability. The better they know what is going to happen, the less energy they waste on uncertainty, and the more room remains to feel comfortable.
What to do when there are tears on the school playground
It is tempting to get the goodbye over with as quickly as possible, or conversely, to keep comforting for a very long time. Both can unintentionally make the farewell harder. What often does work:
- Keep the goodbye short and predictable. A fixed ritual—a hug, a high-five, the same phrase—provides clarity.
- Acknowledge the feeling without amplifying it. "I see that you find it nerve-wracking, that’s okay" often works better than reassuring them with "there is nothing to worry about."
- Actually leave. Even if it feels strange, hanging around longer usually makes letting go harder for your child, not easier.
- Trust the teacher. Most children are calm again within minutes of saying goodbye, even if it doesn't feel that way.
Just give the process some time. For most children, saying goodbye becomes noticeably easier within one to two weeks.
Rest after school is just as important as rest before it
Many parents are mainly focused on the morning, but the period after school deserves at least as much attention. A school day requires a lot of concentration and social energy from young children. By the end of the afternoon, most children are tired because of this, even if it doesn't seem that way, as they sometimes become busier or more irritable.
That is the moment when many families reach for a screen: it is easy, and it provides some peace for everyone. That is an understandable choice after a long day. At the same time, an active, quiet activity often works better to get rid of that built-up tension than passive viewing.
Think of something where your child works with their hands: building, drawing, playing a game at the table. These types of activities help children process the overstimulation of the school day, without it having to be another performance. At Zappie, we also see this reflected: children who work on a building project for 20 minutes after school often come to dinner more calmly than children who grab a screen immediately after school.
Practical tips for the first weeks of school
- Start the return to routine at least a week in advance. Small, gradual steps work better than one big change.
- Keep the morning simple. Lay out clothes and bags the night before so that fewer decisions have to be made in the morning.
- Make the goodbye a fixed, short ritual. Predictability reduces tension.
- Consciously plan for rest after school. Not necessarily sitting still, but an activity without screens and without performance pressure.
- Don't just talk about school, but also about feelings. "What did you enjoy today?" often opens up more than "How was school?".
It gets easier, for most children faster than you think
As a parent, it is hard to see your child sad, especially if you yourself also still need to get used to the new fall routine. Know that this is a phase that occurs in almost every family, and that most children find their rhythm again within a few weeks.
You do not need to make the process run perfectly. Structure, a predictable farewell, and some quiet attention after school are often enough to make the transition feel a lot smoother—for your child, and for you.
Looking for a quiet moment after school during which your child can build and discover something on their own? Discover how the Zappiebox can help with this, without it feeling like another chore.