The new school year has just begun. Your daughter comes home with a new schedule, new subjects, and perhaps for the first time, something like "technology" or "inquiry-based learning" on the curriculum. A great moment to do something that makes a big difference in the long run: showing her that science and technology are just as much for her as for anyone else.
Because despite years of attention to the topic, girls still choose STEM subjects and professions less often than boys. Not because they can't. Research shows that the difference primarily arises from how children learn early on to think about who is "good" at certain subjects, and which activities are offered as a matter of course to boys versus girls.
The good news: as a parent, you have more influence on this than you might think. And it doesn't start with a lesson plan, but with small, daily choices.
What exactly is going wrong (and why it isn't the girls' fault)
The OECD shows in international comparisons that, on average, girls and boys perform equally well in math and science through primary school. The difference is not in ability. It is in confidence: girls often rate their own mathematical and technical skills lower than boys do, even with identical school results. That self-confidence is formed at a young age. Researchers sometimes call this the "confidence gap": not a difference in aptitude, but a difference in how confident children feel about trying something new, making mistakes, and persevering.
And that self-confidence is influenced by something very practical: who gets the chance as a child to build, tinker, take things apart, and put them back together? Research into toy usage consistently shows that building toys, construction sets, and experimental kits are more often offered or given to boys, while girls are more often given toys focused on caretaking, appearance, or storytelling. Both types of toys have value. But if building and experimenting are structurally less often on the table for girls, they also structurally miss out on more opportunities to practice the very skills that STEM requires: trying, failing, adjusting, and trying again.
Why this is extra relevant now
The new school year is a natural starting point. Children are used to structure, new subjects, and curiosity about what is to be learned this year. You can strengthen that momentum at home without it feeling like a "program." It's not about pushing your daughter toward a technical degree. It's about giving her the same opportunities to discover if she enjoys something before she has already decided for herself that "this isn't for me."
5 practical things you can do as a parent
1. Pay attention to your own language
Researchers from the University of Illinois, among others, found that parents who spontaneously say "you are so smart" instead of "you worked hard" subconsciously link certain skills to aptitude rather than effort. That effect is stronger toward girls than toward boys. So praise the process: "You did a good job trying out what worked" works better than "you are so smart."
2. Give building and experimenting a fixed place, not an exception
If building toys are only "for your brother's birthday," your daughter subconsciously learns that they are not meant for her. Place craft and building materials out as naturally as art supplies or books.
3. Let her solve the problem, not you
It is tempting to help quickly when something doesn't work right away. Instead, try asking: "What do you think happens if you try it differently?" That small moment of patience is exactly where self-confidence in technology is built.
4. Seek out visible examples
Children choose something more easily if they can imagine that people like them do it too. Books, documentaries, or simply a conversation about female engineers, scientists, or programmers help with this, as does simply showing that technology and building are not fixed to one gender.
5. Celebrate the trying, not just the result
A xylophone that isn't quite put together correctly, a robot that doesn't move as hoped the first time: these are not failures, they are precisely the moments when children learn that mistakes are part of learning. After an activity, don't just ask "did it work?" but also "what did you try?"
Small start, big effect
No one expects one building set or one school year to make the difference between choosing a technical profession or not later on. But repeated, small moments of building, experimenting, and finding solutions oneself build something much bigger together: the confidence that you can handle these kinds of things. That confidence is exactly what, according to research, makes the difference between girls who ignore STEM later and girls who just keep trying.
At Zappie, we believe that building toys are not boy or girl toys. Every Zappiebox is designed to challenge all children to make something themselves, to experiment, and to be proud of what they build: from a working hydraulic arm to a homemade periscope. Curiosity has no gender.
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